Busted Relationship...Busted Resolution

by elakin
(Nashville, TN USA)

After only 16 months of marriage, I finally had to stand up & make a really tough decision in April of last year to leave my husband after discovering he had been talking to a series of girls online pretending to be a single guy just looking for a "friend" to talk to which then escalated into more than just friend talk but never crossed the line into a full blown affair. I just didn't think I could live like that. So, we separated and then he filed for divorce and had me served on April Fool's Day.

We have no children, no property and essentially nothing worth fighting each other for. Should have been an easy, undisputed divorce, right? Well, apparently not. After 9 months of lunacy and high legal fees for complete stupidity, we're divorced.

So, since it was all done & over before the end of 2009, my resolution for 2010 was to let all that go and not harbor the anger, grudges & wishes of ill-will against my ex-husband which only added to the stress of the whole situation.

Part of our family's holiday traditions have almost always involved us getting out on my grandmother's farm place in rural Tennessee (please feel free to insert your Southern/Redneck/Hick remarks here) where we have plenty of room to safely setup a firing range. We then all gather with our favorite pistols & rifles for several hours of stress relief mostly shooting at paper targets, bottled water, tennis balls and shaken cans of cream soda (the spray from the agitated carbonation is really cool!).

However, despite my New Year's resolution, which I actually made Christmas Day 2009, to not be hostile in word or deed in regards to my ex-husband, I found it very difficult to resist the goading by my brothers, Dad, cousins, uncle & even my 87-year-old grandmother to bring pictures to pin up as bullseyes.

Recalling my resolution and digging deep for willpower, I managed to rendevous for the family gun-fest New Year's Eve day without the pictures. As the light waned, we all set out to make our final shots & empty all the loaded clips before packing it in. Then, much to my surprise, my sister pops up with this black cowboy hat of my ex's that she'd stowed away behind my back. Granted, this isn't a "real" cowboy hat, but a felt play hat he'd had from an event at work, but since I'd held off bringing the pictures, she brought the hat - "just in case" at the behest of my brothers & dear old Dad.

Barely a week after making a rational, adult decision about handling my post-divorce emotions, my resolve broke and my Christmas Day New Year's Resolution shattered. I hung my head and nodded my consent, then proceeded to riddle the hat with .22 & .38 specials - we have pictures, too. Somehow, in the pictures, I just don't look as contrite as I'm sure I should have having just blown up the symbolic representation of my marriage along with the good intentions of the resolution.

Usually it takes me a couple of months at least to break my resolutions - but how often do you break them before the New Year's even begun!!! Still, everyone got a kick out of the whole affair and I haven't seen my grandmother laughing that much in a long time! To say the least, we all shot off some steam and were much less stressed by day's end.